Smokin’ Up a Storm

I was most pleased when I arrived here last Monday to find that the fellow I relieved, Bill Eger, was a cigar smoker, and that the base has a higher proportion of cigar smokers to general population than I’ve seen elsewhere. I’ve smoked more this past week than any other week in my life, often scooting out to talk shop and pick Bill’s brain over a coffee and a stogie. I’ve also been invited to the 7PM Thursday night smoke, a ritual here at North KAIA. Lots of Cubans to be had here, although the selection is a bit limited and they often need to spend time in a humidor before being smoked. Fortunately, I have my pelican case travel-dor equipped with a Boveda humidification pack, so I can oblige on that score.

But I must give a nod to John and Matt at Draper’s in DC. They hooked me up with a great selection a couple days before my departure. I’m especially enjoying the Tatuaje Cabiguans and Illusione Epernays. Only problem is that I need to further reduce cigar size. I thought I’d be okay with Robustos and Coronas, now it seems like Petite Corona might be the best solution for the time I have available to devote to a cigar.

Happy smoking, my friends!

On the Road

A nod to Jack Kerouac for providing that title. Next time, a nod to Willie Nelson.

There's a first time for everything, and yesterday was my first time outside the wire here in Kabul. LTC Bill Eger and I headed down the road for some meetings yesterday morning.

We rode in a three-vehicle convoy from North KAIA to ISAF HQ in downtown Kabul, then went to Camp Eggers for lunch and more meetings. We suited up for the drive in full battle rattle -- darmor and Kevlar helmets. Four passengers in each up-armored SUV, along with a driver and vehicle commander, for a 10-15 minute drive. After the meetings at ISAF, we walked ... yes, walked ... outside the wire to Camp Eggers. During the round-trip drive, it was abundantly clear that, a), we're in a combat zone; and b) we take force protection very seriously. I won't cross the line into OPSEC violations about our specific tactics and capabilities, but suffice to say that no one will be driving a VBIED (vehicle-borne improvised explosive device) onto any of our bases anytime soon. Security is tight, and it's taken seriously.

In fact, the biggest threat I observed was the swarm of Afghan kids on the streets between the bases trying to sell us stuff, anything from scarves to cheap jewelry to you-name-it. We got off scot-free this time, but I suspect that sometime in the future, I'll be unloading Euros into the local economy on future trips.

Settling In

17 February

Well, here it is, my fourth in-theater and in-country, and I've only now come up for air. Monday was a full-tilt travel and indoc day, flying from Al Udeid Air Base in Qatar to Bagram. Tuesday morning, after a very short night in transient quarters, I caught a flight on a Dehavilland Dash-8 turbo-prop to KAIA North, my new home. I was met upon arrival by the man I'll be relieving,. LTC Bill Eger. He's ready to go, after six months here, and he hasn't been able to wipe the smile from his face.

First off, we stowed my gear next to his bunk. In a tent. Yup, I'm living in a tent. Interesting thing, I've heard nothing but negatives about the more permanent quarters ... more cramped, less room, still a 50-foot walk to the head, but I found out my first night that little trip sucks at midnight in the middle of February in Afghanistan.

Enough about bodily functions. Looks like I'll be taking over as Chief of the Knowledge Management Cell within the Information Dominance Center at IJC, the ISAF Joint Command. A very intense, very fluid operation. And I'll have very demanding Army overseers wanting more and more. I've got two more days of turnover, then I'm flying solo. Wish me luck!

Time to Armor Up

Before I get into the good stuff, I must give a tip of the hat to the breakfast buffet at the Darmstadt Maritimhotel. Who needs eggs and bacon? They had an amazing selection of fish ... smoked salmon, several kinds of pickled herring, and some other smoked fish that reminded me of some smoked bluefish I once enjoyed. I also helped myself to their cold meat selection, including Germany's answer to proscuitto (sorry, Franz, it was good, but it still doesn't match the raw hams from italy, Spain, Portugal, or even Japan). I even tried something that might have been head cheese. I figured that was the time, since I could only grab one slice and push it away if it tasted like ass.

Anyhow ... we caught the flight Sunday afternoon from Ramstein to Al Udeid Air Base in Qatar, via Verona rather than Aviano. Touched down at Al Udeid at 1AM local time and, after local indoc and customs, found out there's a flight to Bagram Monday morning. I'll spend less than 12 hours on the ground here ... others have been stuck waiting at Al Udeid for days. Ironically enough, my 179-day deployment clock starts on Valentine's Day. Go figure.

So today, before boarding the flight to Bagram (hereinafter BAF), I get to strap on my body armor and Kevlar helmet for my first ventur into a war zone. Amazing 23 years in the navy (active and reserve), and the closeest I got to combat was the Friday night Happy Hour at the Naples O Club during Desert Shield. Now, as a civilian, I'm taking the big plunge. My next post will be from a combat zone ... with pictures, if they're not OPSEC violations.

We have met the enemy and the enemy is us

Have you ever seen Heartbreak Ridge? The Clint Eastwood cinematic tour de force, in which he stars as a Marine Gunnery Sergeant, Medal of Honor winner, Korean War hero trying to survive in the Corps of the 1980s. After one abortive mobilization exercise, the crusty Marine general asks Gunny what he thought of the exercise. Eastwood replies that it was a clusterf@*k. For network TV broadcasts, that term becomes "clusterflop." The beginning of this deployment was a clusterflop par excellence.

So I get to BWI Wednesday night ... sorry, the flight is postponed 24 hours. Good in a sense, but bad for separation anxiety. I return Thursday night to find myself waiting in line for two hours just to check my bags. We finally get airborne around 1AM on Friday enroute Ramstein Air Force Base in Germany. After being on the ground for two hours, time to go back to our newly cleaned aircraft. And we have to go through security again! Apparently, the USAF now kowtows to TSA security standards.

We leave Ramstein for what is supposed to be a 55-minute flight to Aviano. Wrong. We do a couple circles over a cloud-covered Aviano, only to find that their ILS -- Instrument Landing System -- ain't working, so we go back to Ramstein. Another wait, when we find we'll be boarding buses for a 90-minute to Bitburg for overnight lodging. We got to Bitburg around 11PM local time, then got some dinner, followed by a couple beers. And thence to bed. Our buses depart tomorrow morning at 9:30 for Ramstein, when we'll make another attempt at landing at Aviano. We shall see.

Saturday afternoon, 5PM local. We're back at Ramstein, still waiting for a decision. We hauled ass here from Bitberg, only to sit and wait, go through a security checkpoint that TSA would be proud of, then sit and wait again. At 3:30, we were cut loose to go to the PX across the street for a bite to eat, with instructions to be back in an hour. At 4:30, another hurry up and wait message. Aviano's ILS is still Tango Uniform, and the civilian pilots won't use alternate landing methods. I hope the Ramstein bubbas have the buses on tap for an earlier delivery to Bitburg. I'd rather not eat dinner at 11PM again.

Do I sound bitchy? Whiny? I guess so. I'm frustrated, I signed on to do a job in Afghanistan, and the Air Force can't unscrew itself long enough to get us into the theater. I, like 200 or so of my closest friends, am tired of sitting on my ass, waiting, waiting, waiting.

Sunday, 7AM. Reveille at the hotel in Darmstadt. Yup, another delay yesterday. They swear we'll be off the ground today. Our buses took us here to a convention hotel, which at least is bigger and much nicer, with better amenities, than the place we stayed at Friday night. Still an hour-plus ride to get here. And we have to muster fir a 9AM departure back to Ramstein. Hope to God the ILS is fixed ... or, better yet, not necessary.

On the plus side, we had a very nice buffet-style meal, followed by a couple local pints (oops, half-liters) quaffed in the smoking lounge next to the bar. I fired up and thoroughly enjoyed an Opus X Shark. Potent little booger.

I also got to talk to my bride on Skype, its first operational use since we downloaded and tested the service. Works quite well ... let's see if it's as good from Afghanistan.

Curses, Foiled Again!

So I dutifully showed up at BWI last night for the rotator flight to take me and maybe 200 of my closest friends to Qatar. We got there early, but a huge line had already formed to check in at the AMC terminal. Shortly after we began the airport shuffle, pushing out bags ahead of us a couple feet at a time, the rumor started. The flight was delayed. Sure enough, within a half hour, it was official. The flight was not even close to BWI, so the rotator cycle would be delayed for 24 hours. So we got our bags tagged and weighed, got boarding passes, then took our stuff and, for those of us in the local area, went home. Those for whom this was just a waypoint got hotel and meal vouchers, So Jeannie and I got one more night together at home ... and an opportunity for a second round at separation anxiety.

The delay does, however, give me an opportunity to knock out a few things which had slipped through the cracks at my departure time got ever closer. I can now give a report on the longest farewell weekend I've ever been a part of.

Friday night, friends from work, the boat crew and cigar shop days converged on the house. We had previously decided to violate one of the cardinal rules of entertaining ... never try out a new recipe on dinner guests. Starting with a totally new cuisine in our repertoire, Afghan, we violated the rule twice. Jeannie had previously cooked Qabili Pilau for us ... a wonderful rice dish made with chunks of lamb, carrots and raisins, and vibrantly spiced. We also did a repeat on a sauteed yellow squash dish. Then the psycho part ... I insisted on doubling the number of dishes served, and adding dishes we'd never cooked before. One, a Mushroom Stew with chicken and tomatoes, mildly seasoned, was a pretty straightforward, one-pan dish. But we needed an appetizer, so I opted for Aushak, delectable Afghan leek dumplings with a zesty sauce of ground lamb and topped with yogurt.

When all was said and done, we had four cooks working in the kitchen (two assembling and cooking the Aushak alone using prepared ingredients provided by the sous chef (me), and dinner was ultimately served an hour late. But it was, IMHO, a huge success. The food came out great, everyone helped themselves to seconds, and everyone also eagerly took leftovers home. Plus, we put a huge dent in my huge stash of beer. The last of the guests left shortly before midnight, we cleaned up the kitchen and turned in.

Saturday, I was up early prepping for Farewell #2, the kids were coming over for a late lunch and I was cooking Tyler Florence's Lasagna al Forno (http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/tyler-florence/lasagna-al-forno-recipe/index.html), perhaps the best lasagna I've ever had. John showed up at 11AM ... I didn't think he ever even woke up that early on a weekend, while Stephie and Mike arrived an hour or so later, held up by bad weather in the Winchester area. Starting with beers and my world-famous Bruschetta, the talk naturally turned to hockey. Omce again, a good time was had by all, and the day also gave me pause to think about not seeing the kids often enough. Gotta do better at that after my return.

Sunday was the (relatively) lazy day, all we had on tap was dinner at someone else's house ... I got a reprieve from kitchen duty. Dave and Marsha Malkin, friends from EYC, invited us over for dinner, and a truly splendid repast it was ... braised short ribs. Utterly delicious, the meal reminded me why all those braised short rib recipes in the cooking magazines look so enticing. And it also reminded me of one of my character flaws. I'm really jealous ... jealous of the Malkins' ability to put on a dinner party and make it seem effortless. I invite two people over for dinner, and I'm flailing about intil dinner is on the table, but Dave and Marsha make it look so damned easy!

As dinner was windng down, we relaxed in the living room to watch the Superbowl. As it happens, the Steelers and the Packers are my favorite NFL teams, and I'd spent the previous couple weeks trying to convince myself that it didn't matter who won, I'd be happy. Alas, my efforts were in vain, I'm really a serious Steelers fan, and my hopes sank as the clock ran down, and Big Ben threw those interceptions leading to Pittsburgh's undoing. The saving grace of the day was that it was a consummately shitty sports day for Pittsburgh, as our Washington Capitals spanked the penguins in a 3-0 shutout at Verizon Center. Wasn't it the penguins' coach who recently called Michael Neuvirth "shaky" as a goalie? Eat your words, buttmunch! Rock the Red!

Shorn Like Samson

Holy crap ... I just caught sight of myself in the mirror. Late this afternoon, I went to my girl Shanel, my hair stylist, to get my hair cut before deploying. I watched as clumps of hair fell to the floor, all of it gray. She did a great job, my hair looks good, but it's a whole lot shorter than it had been. Oh well, I won't look too retarded after I take off the Kevlar helmet.



On the plus side, my wife likes it. Hard to complain about that. And I think the look can be maintained even when the chimps with electric shears (i.e., military barbers) get a crack at cutting my hair.

Oh, yeah, the "before" picture ...



I'll be at BWI within the next 24 hours, and fly out shortly after midnight Thursday morning.

At The Crucible

I, along with 15 other deployers, got a very packed week of instruction at the Crucible Training Center in Fredericksburg, VA. Each day would have been worthy of a full blog entry, but they ran us hard, and all I wanted to do after getting back to the motel was play the slacker.

We started with a full day of classroom work … “Death by PowerPoint.” A lot of the instruction focused on situational awareness, surveillance detection, and related topics. Much to our surprise, after wrapping up classwork at around 5PM, we were sent out for a practical, driving pre-planned routes in the Fredericksburg area to see if we could detect any mobile surveillance. Conducted, of course, by Crucible staff in their POVs. Monday night, we got a nice little tour of historic Old Town Fredericksburg. We drove around for an hour, spotted some likely surveillance vehicles, wrote up our observations, then headed back to our respective lodging, and dinner. Sushi snob that I am, I was pleasantly surprised to find decent sushi down there. Nothing great, nothing exotic, but all the basics, very fresh and nicely presented.

Tuesday was 9mm day. A morning of instruction, then we spent the afternoon on the range, pumping out rounds like nobody’s business. A major testosterone high was had by all … all the male students, at least. I was pleasantly surprised (again), this time with the realization that, although I’ve had very limited time with firearms, I was shooting pretty respectably. Although my grip and stance needed a lot of work, and still do, I was pretty much hitting what I aimed at.

After shooting, we got sent out on another night-time surveillance detection run. Talk about buzzkill. Dinner that night at a Thai restaurant. I’ve had much better.

Wednesday was the day for defensive driving. HOLY CRAP, what a rush! All the things we’re prohibited from doing while behind the wheel in polite society, they taught us how to do. They took us out to Sumerduck Dragway, a local race track, and turned us loose. They started with the basics, skills we can use in everyday life, such as controlling a car when braking hard and the wheels lock up. Or recovering from a spin-out. The first really cool thing was learning right-side driving. Imagine you’re tooling down the road in the passenger seat when, all of a sudden, the driver slumps over. What do you do? Grab the wheel, undo our seat belt, kick the driver’s feet away from the pedals, swing your left leg into the driver’s side, and work the pedals with your left foot, all the while bracing yourself with the right foot and holding the driver’s body back against the seat. By the grace of God, I did it without crashing the car. Gotta remember to hold the steering wheel steady, not to use it for support when hauling myself across the car.

By the middle of the afternoon, the weather had turned massively shitty, cold and sleeting. Snow wasn’t far behind. In other words, a great time to start learning about and practicing PIT – Precision Interdiction Technique – and barrier ramming. We were required to wear helmets for both of those drills. If you’re ever watched Cops on TV, you’ve seen a PIT … matching another car’s speed, leaning your fender into his quarter panel, then accelerating to spin him around the front of your car and put him on a reverse heading. Major rush, both on the giving and receiving ends. Then we learned how to ram a stationary vehicle which might be used as part of a barricade in the street. When to do it, when not to do it. Helmet and neck brace in place, I lined up my Crown Vic, put her in first, then held the shifter down as I accelerated into the target. Smashed it out of the way and kept going. Adrenaline and testosterone, what a magic cocktail!

By now, snow was coming down, so we called it a day and headed back to the training compound. The snow was coming down heavy, in big wet flakes, and covering the road surface. So it should be no surprise that it took me about an hour to drive from the training center to my hotel, all of 8 miles.

Thursday morning, after fervently praying that Black Beauty’s diesel engine would start in reasonably short order, I swung into class, where we focused on negotiating checkpoints. A morning of lecture, then an afternoon driving around the compound, doing exercises with Crucible staff and roleplayers putting us through the paces of negotiating checkpoints … some benign, some hostile. When to go with the flow, when to bolt and run, how to deal with anti-American sentiment in delicate situation. We were originally scheduled to do a night driving exercise, but the condition of the roads precluded that, so we got a lecture about driving at night, with emphasis on the physiology of the eye. Interesting stuff.

Friday, after a morning full of lectures, we got to hit the range after lunch. First, we learned about some other shooting techniques, including one-handed firing. Finally, about 2:30 PM, we started the 9mm qualifications. We fired from 25, 15, 7 and 3 yards. I suck at 25 yards … very consistently. Closer in, I’m lethal. Long story short, I qualified at the first opportunity on the M-11 Sig Sauer weapon at about 4:30. With the sun sinking ever lower in the sky, we got a quick cram course on the M-9 Beretta pistol, then went out to shoot. By 5:30, in serious twilight, I completed the second pistol qualification.

After wrapping up some last-minute admin, I was out the door and on the road by 6. After a very long day, I cruised the nearly 100 miles back to Annapolis. With this training out of the way, now I can focus on all the other little details I need to tie up before deploying. More on those in the coming days.

More Training and Preps

Yeah, I know, I’m a slacker … should have been writing a lot more and a lot more often.

But I’ve been busy, very busy, with all sorts of pre-deployment preps.

First off, on the job, I finally got a relief designated. On the plus side, she’s smart and diligent, and works well with Harold, my contractor support. On the down side (or, should I say, depressing side), she’s a year younger than my daughter. Talk about feeling old.

The week before last, the fun stuff started. I did my M-4 qualifications. The deployment managers had a mix-up on the dates, so I ended up showing up a day early, only to be told of the current schedule, Thursday and Friday. Thursday was split between classroom time, learning about the weapon, proper use, breakdown and such. The afternoon was in the simulator – FATS, or FireArm Training Simulator. It used compressed air in the magazines to simulate shooting at targets, with a realistic level of recoil.

Friday morning was all about shooting for qualification, in an indoor range behind the DLOC … two trailers connected end-to-end. My accuracy at 100 yards sucked at first, during the practice rounds. But after one of the instructors suggested taking off my glasses and using only the clear protective eyewear, I was spot on. Turns out my progressive lenses played havoc with my efforts to align the front and rear sights on the M-4. First time out after losing the glasses, I shot a 265 out of 300, enough for qualification. I took it and ran … after cleaning the weapon, which turned out to take longer than the actual qualification shooting.

Next, a hectic weekend trip to New York, where I indulged in a Beefsteak Dinner at my old high school, then Sunday I was cruising south in the Benz for a week of Individual Protective Measures Training … IPMT for short. We’ll cover IPMT in my next entry.

The Saga Continues

Well, for those of you who are interested, the Christmas prime rib came out to perfection. I remain amazed at the damage that six people did to a 14 pound standing rib roast.

Back to work last week, and back to pre-deployment preps. I got in to see my sleep specialist, who informed me I couldn't just waltz in and get a new CPAP machine, I'd need another titration test, spending the night at a sleep center hooked up to a machine and a variety of masks. More processes, more delays. Oh joy.

We appear to have leaped over a major domestic hurdle regarding acceptance of my upcoming deployment. CINCHOUSE was at a meeting at Eastport Yacht Club this past weekend and, in discussing my deployment, found out about another member who was deployed to Djibouti. "Djibouti," she derisively snorted, "our guys aren't even getting shot at THERE. Not like Afghanistan." Acceptance is a good thing. I felt a weight lift from my shoulders as she related the story.

Tonight, I do my sleep study to get checked out for a new CPAP machine. Actually, the doctor is talking about a BIPAP, a bi-level machine with different air pressures for inhaling and exhaling. This will remove another roadblock on the path to deployment.

Looks like I have a departure date ... very early on 10 February. I have to arrive at BWI airport the evening of 9 February, then fly off in the wee hours. Gotta go draw all my gear and get serious about packing up. I also need to get serious about learning to pack light, something I've never been good at.