Gotta have an acronym for everything, right? Can’t just call it the “mess deck” like we did onboard ships. Noooooo, we have the Dining Facility, or DFAC.
So … imagine the wonderful things that a Neapolitan cook can do with a pound of pasta and a few simple, fresh ingredients. Imagine the glories of a meal in Paris, featuring a sublime cream sauce based on a wine reduction. Now throw all those silly-ass ideas out the window.
The DFAC is run by KBR UK, and it embodies everything bad you’ve ever heard about British cooking. Take yesterday’s lunch. Sicilian pizza, with the warning that “This item contains pork!” Sicily ought to declare war on KBR over this misuse of their island’s name. I opted for the beef pot pie-looking entrée … beef stew meat under a pastry crust. If I may borrow a term favored by my daughter … it tasted like ass. The vegetables were, amazingly enough, largely not overcooked. Mixed carrots, broccoli and cauliflower, and only the carrots had no texture left. That was the highlight of lunch.
There's a sign outside the DFAC that prohibits, among other things, cameras. I think they want to prevent people from taking photos of the food that might later be used in a war crimes indictment.
I will give them credit for one thing … breakfast pastries. Their fruit Danish are based on a delicious, flaky crust, like they have a real pastry chef making those. Gotta try the croissants next, they may be made by the same guy. The downside being that it will be hard to drop a few pounds here if I’m wolfing down baked treats every day.
Our office is having a catered Afghan dinner brought in next Thursday night, served buffet-style. Since we government folks are prohibited from going outside the wire for other than official business, there are no dinners out in town. So meals like this will probably be my only opportunity to eat local Afghan food during my tour. I hope they bring lots of Aushak!
How was the Afghan dinner? Anything like the real thing? Or did KBR ruin that too?
ReplyDeleteThe pastries probably come in frozen. I'd bet they just proof and bake on site. That's how we do it at work.
ReplyDeleteMy poor, half asleep brain saw KBR UK and translated it into KKG. I thought, oh boy, this ain't good, and then the coffee kicked in and i heaved a sigh of relief. Altho, really... From the way it sounds, you're getting the culinary KKG workout. After five months of this torture, they'll start asking questions while shining a bright light in your face.
I want Gordon Ramsey's e-mail address. I want the angry British celeb-chef pounding on the gates, demanding to be admitted, and bringing his film crew as he drops the f-bomb every few seconds, roaring at the staff over the way they butcher food.
ReplyDeleteI suspect John will come home light enough to "do bow" on the Wicked Wahini after this tour!!!! The food sounds scrumptious.
ReplyDeleteLeo -- I may be light enough, but I'll never be nimble enough. I'll leave the foredeck to those younger and more agile.
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