I Got My Ordmod

Ord·mod (noun) \ȯrd-mäd\

Definition:  Order modification.  Modification or change to previously-issued orders.

My ordmod arrived this morning.  My orders not only confirm my end of tour date, but now also include my post-deployment leave dates.  This now clears the way for me to arrange my flight from here to Qatar, to schedule my out-processing appointments, and make my commercial flight to Frankfurt.

I have no sense of rhythm.  I can’t dance to save my life.  But you should have seen my pathetic white-boy-dancing this morning.

I also got my advance questionnaire for my post-deployment psychological evaluation.  Lots of emphasis on panic and anxiety attacks.  At one point or another, I’ve experienced all the symptoms, just not in association with an anxiety attack …

·         “Did your heart race, pound or skip?”  Yeah, when I read my ordmod.

·         “Were you afraid you were dying?”  Yeah, every time I approach the DFAC.

·         “Increase in alcohol use.”  After six months of total abstinence?  DUH!

·         “Little or no sexual desire or pleasure during sex.”  Figure the odds of that one, Gomer.

But by and large, the questionnaire is pretty laughable.  So many questions about alcohol use.  As if I’m going on a bender every night here.  And if I was drinking myself into a stupor, what are the odds that I’d ‘fess up to it?  I don’t think the shrinks have a clue about being deployed.  Hell, I’m doing my post-deployment evaluation via video teleconference!

So it looks like I’ll be turning in my two duffels of gear, then doing medical and psych appointments, all in one day.  Despite the fact that Uncle Sam is forking over $12B per month to fight this war, DIA is trying to minimize my time on the ground in Qatar, where I’ll still be drawing pay.  The phrase “penny-wise but pound-foolish” springs to mind.

No matter.  The light at the end of the tunnel just got a little bit brighter.